Absurd

Gesprek tussen magneten

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Twee magneten zitten in de kamer.

De ene zegt tegen de andere: ‘Wat zou ik vandaag aantrekken?’

 

Koe en duif

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Een duif vliegt langs een koe en zegt: ‘Roekoe!’

De koe roept: ‘Roeduif!’

 

Vis bij de dokter

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Een vis gaat naar de dokter.

De dokter kijkt even op en zegt: ‘Aha, ik zie het al. Uit de kom!’

 

Schapen onder elkaar

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Twee schapen zitten in de wei.

Het ene schaap zegt: ‘BÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉ!’

Het andere schaap antwoordt: ‘Nou, dat wou ik ook net zeggen.’

 

Engelse kippen

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Twee Engelse kippen lopen op straat. De ene kip zegt tegen de andere: ‘Tok tok tok.’

De andere kip antwoordt: ‘Why are you tokking to me?’

 

Tomaten op restaurant

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Er zitten twee tomaten te eten in een restaurant.

Opeens prikt de ene tomaat de andere met zijn vork.

‘Au! Wat doe je nou?’ vraagt de geprikte tomaat een beetje boos.

De andere tomaat antwoordt: ‘Ik had ketchup nodig.’

 

Dure cola

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Een aap komt een bar binnen en bestelt een cola.

De barman denkt: ‘Die aap heeft helemaal geen verstand van geld. Ik vraag eens een lekker hoge prijs.’

Hij rekent de aap 10 euro aan voor de cola. De aap betaalt.

De barman is toch nieuwsgierig en besluit een praatje te maken met de aap.

‘Er komen hier eigenlijk niet zoveel apen’, zegt hij.

‘Ja, natuurlijk’, zegt de aap. ‘Ik kom hier ook niet meer terug. Een cola is hier belachelijk duur.’

 

Olifant in de bus

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Een olifant stapt in de bus.

De conducteur ziet dit en zegt verrast: ‘Het is de eerste keer dat ik een olifant in de bus heb.’

De olifant antwoordt: ‘Ja, en waarschijnlijk ook meteen de laatste keer. Morgen is mijn fiets gerepareerd.’

 

Droevig patatje

Twee patatjes lopen over straat.
Vraagt het ene patatje aan het andere: “Waarom kijk jij toch zo triestig?”
Antwoordt het andere patatje bedroefd: “Mijn mama zit in de puree.”

 

Familienaam

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  • Wat is jouw familienaam?
  • Krschtiwurtz-Stavrinskztoszki.
  • Euh… hoe schrijf je dat?
  • Met een streepje