Gekken

Psychiatrische opname nodig?

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Een journalist heeft een interview met de directeur van een psychiatrische inrichting.

Journalist: “En hoe bepaalt u nu of iemand opgenomen moet worden?”

Directeur: ” We sturen de persoon naar de badkamer, waar een vol bad staat.”

Journalist: “Oh? En dan?”

Directeur: “Dan geven we de persoon een theelepeltje, een pollepel en een emmer. Vervolgens vragen we de persoon zo snel mogelijk het bad leeg te maken.”

Journalist: “Aha, ik begrijp het. Een normaal persoon gebruikt natuurlijk de emmer, want daar kan het meeste water in.”

Directeur: “Wel euh… nee, een normaal persoon trekt de stop er uit….”

 

Nieuwe patiënt bij de psychiater

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Een nieuwe patiënt komt bij de psychiater op consultatie.

“Ik weet niet wat uw probleem is,” zegt de dokter, “dus het zou misschien makkelijk zijn als u bij het begin begint.”

“Natuurlijk,” antwoordt de patiënt, “in den beginne schiep ik de hemel en de aarde….”

 

Bij de psychiater

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Een psychiater tekent een vierkant op een blad papier en vraagt aan de patiënt wat het is.

De man zegt: “Dat is een kamer met naakte vrouwen.”

Vervolgens tekent de psychiater twee vierkanten en weer vraagt hij wat het voorstelt.

“Twee kamers met naakte vrouwen,” antwoordt de patiënt.

Waarop de psychiater zegt: “Mijnheer, u bent seksueel gefrustreerd.”

Hierop reageert de man: “Dat moet u net zeggen, dokter, met uw vieze tekeningen!”

 

Gekken eten een banaan

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Twee gekken eten allebei een banaan.

De ene zegt tegen de andere: ‘Maak jij je banaan nooit open voor je hem opeet?’

De andere antwoordt: ‘Nee, ik weet toch al wat erin zit!’

 

Gekken spelen verstoppertje

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Twee gekken spelen verstoppertje.

De ene gek zegt tegen de andere: ‘Verstop je in de kast. Daar vind ik je nooit!’

De andere gek doet wat hem gezegd wordt.

Na tien minuten hoort hij de zoekende gek roepen: ‘Kom maar uit die kast. Ik kan je niet vinden!’

 

Gekken in een bootje

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Twee gekken zitten in een bootje.

Zegt de ene gek tegen de andere: ‘Er zit een gaatje in onze boot.’

Zegt de andere gek: ‘Dan maken we er toch nog een gaatje bij, dan kan het water er weer uitlopen.’